Whoops

Sorry that it's been a while since I last post.
It's been CRAZY in my life lately. Not to sound so bigheaded.
Right now I'm at a hotel, my mom's job taking us to some conference for four days, and now I'm typing, underaged, at a business computer.
If they give me any lip, they're going to get some right back.
First, they forgot to mention when they were trying to sell us a room that they were undergoing some "remodeling" and the pool is closed.
And I actually remembered my swimsuit this time. Unbelievable.
Un-freakin-believable.
OH, well. I guess it could be worse. I don't know how but it definately COULD be a lot worse than where I'm at.

But the whole deal's wrapped in plastic right now and it kind of creeps me out. Like, every time I look up to the plastic around the railing of some of the floors I'm going to see some kind of ghostly figure standing behind one, staring right down at me.

But, like I said, it could be worse.
WEll, I think I may have to go.

Tty when I can.

-Angel

Strange Things (But What ISN'T Anymore?)

You ever have just some strange strange dream and you can't stop thinking about it if your life depended on it?
I have.

"Beware the one with pulled back dark hair,"
That's all I got from a dream last night, and more than likely, it means nothing. I WISH I could have a dream that would actually mean something. But they just don't happen as much as movies tend to make you think.

If you're wondering how I got the quote, well, this is all I can remember.

I was looking at some black marble slate, put into a brick wall. It had like some kind of passage from a book. From the way it was spoken, it was like from a teen's P.O.V. I think it was a girl from what I could tell. Like, she was saying that she had a nightmare and someone was with her when she woke up. On the slate, it had her thoughts. Like you know, what you would expect from a book: a character's thoughts and everything. I think she thought this next:
"My whole body tensed, realizing he was one of THEM."

And then a thought came to ME, Beware the one with pulled back dark (black?) hair.

It was so strange when I woke up. All morning I kept looking over my shoulder, expecting to be followed, but nothing came after me.

I guess it gives me something to think about and to help me block out the bad band practice day that has me not looking too forward to tomorrow. I'll survive though.

It's a good thing that our director can't read minds, because he would be irritated to death of how I wouldn't be able to shut mine up. Hey, when there's yelling and screaming, I tend to block it out, you know? Imagine that I have something more important to think about at the time and the subject of the whole thing doesn't and shouldn't really matter to me. It's all earth-bound subjects. Subjects that will pass over time, be gone to me in the years to come, and won't matter a cent to me when I leave this town for good.

Which will only be in two years.

I know, it sounds like I'm being very uncaring and SHOULD care right now while I'm still here and will regret it when I do leave. Maybe I will, but maybe I won't. They say people change and I'm waiting for just that. For myself to change, so I can look in a mirror and wonder how much of me was just affected by it.

Something I'm always worrying about with Demon though. They say the reason why high school sweethearts usually don't always stay together though is because they change over time and turn into people that the other just can't stand. Me and Demon realize that that can happen, but we'll try everything and anything we can to try to not let it. If Demon and I were to not make it, I have a feeling we will stay with each other for the rest of both our lives though. To me, Demon is my lover (not in the physical way, but you get it) first, and my best friend second. If the first doesnt' work, the second one will. They say Demon is actually the right age for the change, and now every day I sit and wait to speak to him that night to come and ponder if I will still be speaking to Demon, or some stranger I had never come to known.

Going to go now. Ponder some more, I guess.

"Let Me Not Be Judged By the Eyes of Man, but by His Eyes,"

-Angel

Hmm.

List of what I care about for the week:
1. Demon coming to visit Saturday (you had to see that one coming)
2. If the new red I put up in my hair holds well
3. I get a lot of the sequal to my story written
4. I finish the book Mary, Mary
5. If i can get my iPod to work right


List of what I SHOULD be caring about this week:
1. State band contest THURSDAY (yeah...really major, but not on my other list why?)
2. EOI (end of instruction) tests this week
3. Getting English homework done
4. practicing flute (not the same as the first)
5. Maintaining moodiness and self-control

Okay, of course you may know that Demon will always be at the top of my care list. Everyone who reads this should get that by now. If not, you have just been staring at this thing and obvious not have been reading it. tsk tsk tsk.
Bad, people. BAD.

State band contest WAS kind of the thing pushed out of the way by Demon. I know, I know. I may not always have Demon (which is something I'm not planning), but I always will have my talent to play. Well....really after high school I'm not really into planning on playing the flute afterwards. I know, wasted talent, right? And I guess I should care about contest more because this is one of the only chances to show the state what the band has, and Demon can come over any weekend, right?
I don't know why, but Demon just wins. He always does. Even when I don't want him to.

But here's the thing: When we get off that stage, it's over. Gone. Okay, it's over when we get out of the sight reading room, something that follows the stage, but still. Once over, over. I'm trying not to cringe before then though.
It's not like I don't care. I do care. A whole lot, but I'm not so attached that I'll miss it too terribly when I get to college without it. Once I graduate, I'm gone, baby, and as the hick people say after a bitter divorce: And there ain't no gettin' me back!

And practicing my flute IS different. You know, we don't only play the two contest pieces. There's also a couple, actually three, more that we are going to do for a concert and a show on our "educational" trip. I guess I should be doing that now. -sigh- I will, once I'm done here.

You already know about my moodiness. Something I need some self-control on. No questions asked.

And about the EOI's....they don't even count for me. It's not like I won't try, but if it doesn't determine me graduating, I'm sorry, but you don't have my full attention if it's for a little practice on the subjects. I've already taken my biology test: pretty easy and simple enough. There are two english tests: Writing and multiple choice. We just did the writing, thank god, and tomorrow will be the multiple choice ones. I'll get through it easy enough.
Not sure what the next one is though. I hope it's not one of mine because that's our contest day.

I guess, oh well, then. :)

And why is all the other meaningless stuff important?
Well.....it's just what my fingers are typing. Sometimes I just ramble about meaningless stuff and don't ask me why but they just take priority over some things.

Well, off to practice the damned flute. Uggghh. -.-

TTYL (Type To Ya Later)

-Angel

Just to set things straight....

For the last post....don't think that I'm a drug user.

Okay, do you really want to know why I did that?
do you even know what I did?

If you didn't, here's to put it short: I wanted to go to sleep so I took some Nyquil Night. The ultimate medicine that makes me crash.

So you know the how, but do you know the why?

Of course you don't. Otherwise you wouldn't be reading this far into this dumb thing.

Well, you may see me complain in type here, but do you actually see what I do when I truly am missing Demon? Again, of course you don't. Unless you're one of my real friends, but I doubt that. I sincerely do.

So, here's a pic of me when I'm missing Demon: Imagine the look of a basset hound that makes it look like it's crying. Hence the old Elvis song, You Ain't Nothin' But A Hound Dog. (did you know that that song wasn't Elvis' and he just ripped it off of some person?)

Put that sad look on a person. Okay, not the greatest example. Alright, imagine the anguish of a mama bear when she comes back to her den to find her beloved cubs taken away by hunters who are planning nothing but to kill them or sell them.

Again, different concept, but same emotions.

Demon says he misses me too, but he doesn't understand.
He doesn't understand how I feel about all this.
I was told when I was like five that when I grew up, I had this talk a lot with my older sister having a lot of bf's since she was in her teens, that I would grow up, meet a guy in high school, blush when I see him in the halls at school, and go out on dates with him. And one day he would sit with me at lunch or invite me over to his place. He'd ask me to be his girlfriend, no matter what his friends said, no matter what clique he was in.

I didn't get that.

Demon....he's the best thing that has EVER happened to me. I can't remember when someone has made me so happy in all my freakin' LIFE.
.........
.........
.........but sometimes...........
I can't help but think of what things might have been like if we had met in the same school, or if we lived closer.

I wish that we COULD have done what I had imagined.

Here's what we do: Every two weeks, he comes to my house after a three hour drive and it takes us an hour to hug and say how we missed each other. Then, we get only a day to have a date or have a romantic moment. The day zooms by and then we're given a small time to say goodbye. Goodbye before we have to seperate and leave each other for another week or two, sometimes more.

A date every two weeks..........not what I imagined.

So the next time, if any of my readers sees does this, that you go to school, and hug on one of your many bfs/gfs, and you can't remember the last thought you shared about them or what's the last romantic thing you talked about, remember that there are loves out there that can't be as close as you, and that you should, I don't know, appreciate what you got.

You won't always have it, and so all we can do is appreciate.

-Angel

Not even cold medicine is a harmless drug

Don't do drugs people.
Even if it is just to put yourself to sleep, unless it's a sleeping pill that is directed by your doctor, just don't do it.

It's still harmful if you don't have much of a cough.

It can be harmful in different ways whether it does hurt you or if someone who cares more than life itself about you finds out.

It sucks, and don't do it.

Dead honest.

-Angel

Empty Saturday

Today could not have been any more boring than what it has been.
I was literally about to be bored to tears, but I guess it could have been worse.
A lot worse.

Really, I was planning on going to the library for most of the day, if they had the next book in the Alex Cross series that I'm reading, Mary Mary.

Hmm. Mary Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

ha ha ha he....I got to stay away from the operas and musicals for a while.

Though, I enjoy them quite a lot.

Have you guys seen the video, 'What's this?' by Fallout Boy?
You know, the song from Nightmare Before Christmas?
It actually was good. I'm not saying Fallout boy sucks, but a lot of videos that Demon offers me now-a-days are either beyond sense or just plain weird.

Except for the stephen king short that he had me watch a night ago.
My own fault for watching it.
It wasn't so scary that I ran, but it had this timber wolf with yellow eyes.
The thing was in a crate, but you don't see it until the guy peers into the crack after opening the crate, and you instantly see this pair of evil yellow eyes glaring out from the dark inside.
Made me jump and yelp.

Right now, I'm listening to Reila, by a japanese band, Gazette.
It's a very good song, but just sad.
IT sounds sad, I can't understand Japanese, but Demon says it was so emotional, that while performing it at a concert the singer started CRYING.
It's sad for me in one way:
When Demon came back to me after FOUR weeks it felt better than anything to have him back.
Then, the day passed so quick. Next thing I knew were pulling out my driveway to go get him gas before he had to leave. Before we hit the street, I started sobbing. I didn't want him to leave.
He held me as I cried into his chest, shoulders shaking as he held me tight.
Reila was being played on his stereo, so when we hear this song we think about that.

I wish Demon had come today, but we talked a little in the afternoon.
God, I miss him so bad!

This week, I'm going to FIND OUT if Bookie likes me or if it's just some kind of misunderstanding.
Okay, a HUGE misunderstanding. But still, I have to know.
I hate guessing! That's what this has been for the past month: guess, guess, guess!
One moment, he doesn't do ANYTHING. The next day, he'll say something odd or wink at me, and I freak a little, but he doesn't explain a thing.

I'm going to get my friend, Beck, to help me.
She knows just as much as Demon or I do.
She can help, hopefully.

I swear on my puppy dog, Molly Bell,'s grave that I WILL find out!

-Angel

Romance....something I want now

It's hard to have to live without your soulmate.
Some of you may know what it's like.

Others, unfortunately, may lead a carefree life of three-four boyfriends/girlfriends every week.

Screw you.


It sucks to see people waste something that could be beautiful,
but they waste it without knowing which makes me disgusted.

There's too many people in my school like that. Too many people in the world like that.

You see girls having sex and proud of it when they know they're not planning on marrying that guy,
not even doing it for love. Same with guys.

Makes me sick.

I would give anything to live closer to Demon.
To be able to see him more than just once every two weeks.
It gets too hard sometimes, and I wake up from a dream, a dream where I find myself in his arms, and he holds me as if he's really there. Then I simply open my eyes as my alarm is blaring to wake me up for school, and I trudge out of bed from what seemed so real, but then I realize it never happened.

Sometimes I feel like crying about it. Which I know sounds babyish and everything, and I do try not to, but sometimes it just aches too much without him.

Some people may be saying, "Why don't you break up with him and get with someone else who's at your school?"
Well, that would only make it worse.
I'm married to Demon, and if I can't go without him for two weeks without hurting, going without him for the rest of my life would kill me.

According to him, if he speaks the truth, it would kill him in an instant.

Besides, there can't be anyone else.
If you've read my last chapter or two, you're probably wondering about my situation with Bookie.
Well, I had a dream last night. It was REALLY weird.

I don't know where we were, it seemed like a dark room with a mirror, and there were lights around the edge of the mirror like in dressing rooms. Bookie was beside me, I was looking in the mirror, and he was looking at me. He started giving me small kisses on the head and cheek. Nowhere on the lips.
The thing was, I didn't like it. Really, I was just horrorfied and shocked. But I couldn't find myself to push him away.
Then, I was in my room, with Demon. He started kissing me passionately on the lips, and I put my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my waist. I felt the burning sensation in my chest as we kissed.

I guess this means that Demon wins my heart? He had already won in any rate.

My friend, Ash, she gets on my nerves too much.
Always complaining when her bf isn't at school, or he simply is late, and she says how miserable she is when he's not there.
Guess what, Ash? I don't really give a shit if the guy you see everyday is simply not there to hold your hand. I just don't. Don't know why, though.

All day I was imagining Demon beside me, my head leaned on his shoulder, one of his arms around me.

I just saw a video on youtube that was about the book Twilight's movie that's coming out!
Twilight is super awesome! A vampire romance. I thought the actors were well chosen, also.

I wonder how Maximum ride will be?
If you don't know, that's another book that's also cool, but the romance is a little dead in it.

Both the characters that supposedly like each other are idiots when it comes to the subject.
One keeps pushing away when she KNOWS she loves him, and the other won't even mention his feelings towards her. I'm sorry, no offense, but they need to either step it up, or leave it alone because it's not healthy to do otherwise.

Especially since they're still the same way after FOUR books.

Well, that's enough for me tonight.

TTYL